


Reversal

by chiiyo86



Series: Conquer All [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of sex pollen, Guilt, M/M, Masturbation, POV First Person, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Aftermath, Rape Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-01 04:48:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiiyo86/pseuds/chiiyo86
Summary: Percy's fantasies take an unusual turn.





	Reversal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rirren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rirren/gifts).



> Hey, so I always meant to write some kind of continuation to my sex pollen fic, and then I saw your prompts for Nonconthon and wrote this fic in a burst of inspiration. I became worried that it didn't fit the exchange well enough and that it was referring to the other fic too much, but I figured I could still gift it to you. :)
> 
> To any one else reading, you don't really need to read the other fic to understand this one (but it will make me happy if you do!)

One thing that can be said about life as a demigod is that it never gets boring. I’ve done many exciting things in my life. I’ve fought gods, monsters straight from the Greek mythology, Titans and giants, stolen the Golden Fleece, born the curse of Achilles, and traveled several times to the Underworld as a living person, down to Tartarus, the deepest and most horrible part of it. I even carried the sky—just for a short time, mind you, but us who have carried the sky are a very small, very select club. It sounds like I’m bragging, but after a while even the most extraordinary things become almost banal. 

And then a few days ago, I raped one of my friends under the influence of Aphrodite, goddess of love. It’s a thing that she does when she’s pissed off at someone, or bored or whatever, like that time she made Pasiphaë fall in love with a bull. Gross, right? It had been no more than a story to me until Aphrodite cursed me too. 

I hadn’t told anyone about it. My first reflex when it had just happened had been to go to Chiron and vomit the whole story at his feet. I’d almost reached the Big House before I stopped myself. Some of the panic in my mind had cleared up and when I’d imagined myself telling Chiron the words ‘ _I raped Nico’_ , I’d felt so faint and nauseous that I’d honestly thought I was going to puke or pass out. So, like a coward, I hadn’t said anything. Nico had shadow-traveled after the fact—and after confessing that he’d had feelings for me, which had made the whole thing even more horrifying—and I doubted he’d tell a soul about it. He probably wouldn’t ever come back to Camp Half-Blood either. 

I went back to my mom’s a lot sooner than I usually did in the summers. I knew my friends had noticed that something was off. Some called the apartment but I refused to talk to them. Annabeth called several times, even though we’d broken up and hadn’t really had the time to define what we were now. It was nice that she cared, but she was definitely the last person I wanted to tell about what had happened with Nico. My mom and Paul weren’t stupid, and they knew that something was wrong too. Each in their turn, they tried to broach the topic with me but I brushed them off. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it forever, but the gods help me, I was going to try for as long as I could. All in all, I wasn’t dealing with it very well. During the day, I mostly managed to keep myself distracted, but at night the dreams wouldn’t leave me alone. 

So, the dreams. I would like to say that they were nightmares, awful, unpleasant dreams that filled me with horror and disgust. And, well, the dreams were mostly the thing with Nico playing out again more or less like it had in real life, which was of course awful. And I felt plenty of disgust afterward, after I woke up. It was the fact that I generally woke up rock-hard that was a problem. 

I think I would have been able to come to terms with the idea that Nico’s rape wasn’t completely my fault if not for that last part. I’d been cursed by a goddess, after all. That kind of thing was a little difficult to fight off. I doubt Pasiphaë would really have screwed that bull and given birth to the Minotaur—let me just say, _ouch_ —if it was so easy to shrug off Aphrodite’s curse. But the fact that I was still so clearly turned on by what had happened was harder do dismiss. It made me wonder how much of what I’d done to Nico was the curse and how much was me. I’d never really thought about Nico that way before, but as I was discovering from reading compulsively about rape on the internet, that kind of thing was less about sex than it was about power, and it was more about the rapist than the victim. Nico had just been in the way.

It was still dark when I woke up and my alarm clock read 5:02. I blinked, trying to erase the last few images of the dream from my mind: Nico’s panicked, flitting eyes when I’d pressed him against the cabin, the sounds he’d made, his jeans open on stained underwear, his lips swollen from me brutally kissing him. I was hard, as usual. I rolled on my back, biting my lip and trying to will my hard-on down. Sometimes it worked and I could even go back to sleep. Other times, not so much. It looked like it was going one of those times. 

With a sigh I pushed back my covers and threw my legs out of the bed. I silently left my room and padded down the hallway to the bathroom, not turning any of the lights on to avoid waking up my mom or Paul. In the bathroom I closed the lid on the toilet seat and sat down on it, then cupped my hard dick through my underwear, trying to be as business-like about it as I could. I was seventeen and it didn’t take much to make me come. I’d dealt with things that were much scarier than an erection.

You might be wondering why I wasn’t jerking off in my bed. I would have certainly been more comfortable there, but being comfortable was so not the priority right now. I just didn’t like the idea of masturbating to one of _those_ dreams in my bed. I felt like I might never be able to sleep in it again if I did and sleeping was already enough of an issue.

The simple weight of my hand on it had made my dick perk up, so I didn’t waste any time with foreplay. This wasn’t about feeling good, although of course feeling good was going to happen anyway as a side-effect. I spat in my hand and shoved it inside my underwear, getting my dick out and then rubbing it with a brutal efficiency that I knew would get the job done. As I did it, I tried to think about nothing, but it was hard to stop stray images from flickering in front of my mind’s eyes. Nico’s face popped up, but at least it wasn’t any of the memories from the day I’d raped him, so I didn’t push it back as hard as I should have and the image lingered.

My dick was leaking pretty steadily now and it eased the way a little. My eyes closed. I was tired and the fuzziness of sleep was trying to pull me under once again. I blame my sleepiness for the fact that I let my mind grab the image of Nico and use it to play out a fantasy. I saw Nico on the day when it had all happened, dressed in black as usual, wearing a t-shirt with a dancing skeleton printed on the front. It was sunny with a nice breath of wind, just like it had been that day. I came upon Nico as I was walking across camp, but instead of me shoving him against a cabin wall, _he_ was the one who did it.

That last image sent an unexpected flare of lust through me and my dick jumped in my hand. _Holy Hades!_ I opened my eyes, shifting uneasily on my seat as I wondered if I should to go back to thinking about nothing. The fantasy wasn’t a replaying of Nico’s rape, though, which was a nice change of pace. So it wasn’t… as bad, was it? And I was, like, super turned on, in a way that wasn’t too steeped in guilt for once. 

I cautiously conjured the image of Nico shoving me against a wall again. Yep, my dick still liked it a lot. I chewed on my lower lip. Nico was shorter and smaller than me, so in a duel of strength that didn’t involve our powers, I would probably come out on top nine times out of ten. Still, in my little mind movie I just let him manhandle me. Maybe it was because he’d surprised me—well, fantasy me was surprised. Nico leaned hard into me, shoving all of his weight to keep me pinned against the wall. He pressed a hand over my mouth, snapping my jaw shut.

“Sshh. Don’t make a sound,” he said in an unusually husky voice

His eyes were so dark and wide, almost devouring his pale, narrow face. He lined up his body with mine until he was entirely draped over me, solid and bony. I could feel him get hard in his jeans. A nugget of fear started growing at the pit of my fantasy self’s stomach, while my real self, in an odd split that I’d never experienced before when I beat off, turned that fear to a sick hot flicker of arousal. 

Fantasy Nico rocked his hips against me, not bothering to open my jeans or his, unlike what I’d done in real life. I was getting hard too, but also panicked, trying to push him back and get him off of me. I was trapped under his body like it was a case of iron. Shadows fluttered at the edge of my vision field and I was reminded of just how powerful Nico was.

“Why would you try to get away, Percy?” he asked. He sounded cold, uncaring, although his eyes never left me. I’d never really believed in hypnosis before, but those eyes looked like they could strip me of my willpower. “It’s no more than you deserve.”

His hand clamped harder around my mouth, muffling the cry that was trying to burst out of it. He started panting as the rocking motion of his hips increased in speed. In real life, I let out an involuntary whimper and shoved two of my knuckles inside my mouth to stifle it. The fantasy just jumped around then, with no care for consistency or logic. I imagined Nico pushing me down to my knees, forcing his dick into my mouth and making me suck on it.

I slouched down on the toilet seat so I could cant my hips and hump the air. My right hand worked my dick faster, the fingers of my left hand now completely in my mouth. It was the craziest thing, because I’d never once thought about sucking a dick in my life; yet there I was, sucking on the length of my fingers and drooling on them as I imagined Nico fucking my face with no regard for me, his hand gripping my hair. I burned all over, like I’d been thrown into the fire of Hephaestus’ forge, and I was _so hard_ , so hard I thought I was going to die if I didn’t get off, almost like when I’d been under the influence of Aphrodite’s curse. My balls clenched painfully. I bit on my fingers and then I came, shooting all over my other hand. 

As I washed my hands at the sink afterward, feeling a little queasy, I looked at my pale face and my red-rimmed eyes in the mirror and wondered what in Tartarus had just happened. I’d always been pretty vanilla in my fantasies before that fateful day with Nico and I didn’t know how to interpret this new one. After days of waking up hard enough to pound nails from my dreams—no, _memories_ —of raping Nico, I had now just gotten off to the idea of him raping _me_. Was it really any better? Had Aphrodite’s curse fundamentally twisted me? I sighed and turned off the water, then rested my forehead for a moment on the cool surface of the mirror. I just really wanted to be able to rewind the past week and move on with my life, but of course this wasn’t fair to Nico, who was probably having it much harder than me right now. As always when I was reminded of Nico’s former crush on me, my stomach flip-flopped uneasily.

_Gods, what a mess._

I went back to bed, hoping I could grab a couple more hours of sleep. I did manage to fall asleep again. I slept, and I dreamed of Nico.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but there might be more of this coming. Possibly.


End file.
